“Are you happy?”
This is a simple question one asked me. Most of the time, my default answer was “Yes, I am”. But this time, I choose to think about it. Am I happy? Well, I am not sad, does that makes me ‘happy’?
Do I wake up daily feeling pumped up? No. Do I look forward for my day? Well, not really. I really trying to get through today for tomorrow will come afterwards. Do I want a different life? Yes, I do. Back to the question, “Are you happy?” Honestly, no. I am indifferent.
Definition of happiness
What makes people happy? Is it getting what they want? Or to put it in more fancy word, ‘achieving target’. In order to be happy, people starts to set targets, such as, “I want a new dress”. Bought the dress, bam, happy. Or I want to win the race, won the race, happy. What if people do not get what they want? Some people feel sad, some people feel more motivated and some people may feel indifferent. Due to this, can I say happiness is highly dependent on your ‘target’? If one has no target, just live as it is, is (s)he happy?
People can set long term or short term target. Easy or hard target. Once you achieved it, you are happy and ready to move on to the next target. This process continues until you die. Since we will put another target, (or hope, or goal, whatever you want to call your “future state that you wish to have”), after achieving a target, when will you be actually happy?
To me, values play an important roles in determining how to be happy. What is the thing that you value the most in life? Some people put family on top, some wealth, some knowledge and some popularity. Its up to you. You know yourself (or you feel that you know yourself). In determining your values, you need to be honest with yourself. You don’t have to share it with anyone, so, no one will judge you! And values may change as you grow older, or experience a “kick” in your life. (Kick= something big that change your life direction such as getting married, having your first kid, death of spouse, retirement or starting career from student life)
To be happy, the ‘target’ we discussed above, should be in line with your values.
I’m not expert in religion. But, when you acknowledge that some things are already written to you and you have no control on it, you feel much calmer.
For example, marriage. Your partner had been written for you before you were born in this world. Instead of trying to ‘find’ your partner, and be sad and stress about it, you should just focus on improving yourself.
Instead of stressing out because you have not gotten your promotion, you should just trying your best at your work.
When you acknowledge, there is a greater power than men, you’ll be calmer hence happier.
All in all, despite not achieving target, when you are thankful, you’ll be happy.
Am I happy?
If my answer is no. Maybe I should take a step back, look around me, and be more thankful that I am still here.